True Urban Legends

so, as the first real “tempette” descends on montrill, the metros were packed today (though the green line going towards Angrignon at about 4:30pm was surprisingly empty) and though we’ve lost the ability to actually use our words (is “excuse me” that hard to say, “excusez-moi”?) it would seem that we are forced to get very intimate. case in point, today, i was close enough to be mortifyingly mesmerized by one woman’s horrible nail care-yo, red nail polish is nobody’s friend, especially when it starts to chip off, but it’s infinitely worse when it’s chipping off an otherwise not maintained raggedy ass jagged edge dirty, long set of nails. eeew. also, i examined the split ends in the head of the girl in front of me whose ass was pressed so firmly into my front that i swear we were vertically spooning. shoot.